How to Become Happy and Positive: 4 Rules That Will Change Your Life Forever

For Zlata - the sparkling joy of my life

The pursuit of happiness has become one of the most relevant topics in our lives. Thousands of trainings and books offer strategies on how to embrace your unique life with joy.

We have reached a level of development where we understand that all external achievements, possessions, and career successes are meaningless if stress and dissatisfaction overshadow our path, leaving no room for joy.

This need for happiness has brought coaches and speakers to world fame, generated millions in profits for the self-improvement industry, and, most importantly, encouraged people to delve deep within themselves. I, too, have embarked on a personal journey to discover a state of resourcefulness, and my insights were born through the burning pain of trials and disappointments.

I came across the works of Sadhguru and Eckhart Tolle and learned from Mark Manson's theory of the Art of Not Giving a Fuck. I practised meditation, discovered the healing power of yoga, and even worked with one of the most renowned personal development coaches.

But, my most profound discovery was that we need to learn happiness from those who naturally embody it.

Who happiness is growing like the most beautiful flower in a magical garden

Who truly knows how to live with boundless joy, playing and looking at the world with eyes full of unconditional love?

Children and dolphins. 

While it may be difficult to have a dolphin at home, your children are already with you and are your happiness super coaches.

Don't you believe me? Let's talk after you finish reading. 

Learn from this article how to become happy and discover valuable tips for navigating the challenges of being a parent while creating a remarkably happy childhood for your little ones. 

These essential pieces of advice are particularly helpful for parents going through difficult periods such as divorce, financial problems, or personal crises.

Remember, the essence of happiness lies in the way we view the world, unspoiled by stereotypes, disappointments, and beliefs. Open your heart to change and let happiness flow into your life!

Many stressful situations we face are created when we actively resist circumstances. This opposition generates tension, leading to ever-increasing stress.

Learning to surrender is crucial for building a harmonious life, and you can develop this skill through interactions with children. I first realized this when working remotely as an Editor-In-Chief of a Magazine for Entrepreneurs while my daughter was only 2 years old. When she fell sick and couldn't attend kindergarten, she often disrupted my work, creating tension.

At first, I resisted and tried to "tame" my daughter. However, I soon learned it was better to surrender immediately, break away from my plans, play with her as she requested, and then return to work.

The result was remarkable. Instead of wasting time on stress and resistance, I returned to work after just 10 minutes, in a good mood and with fresh ideas. Sometimes, her engaging in a puzzle or colouring activity refreshed my perspective.

I later applied this ability to surrender to various situations in my life. I learned not to resist the constant influx of new ideas from my manager and changes while working on projects, and I even accepted my first dismissal.

The ability to accept change, surrender to situations, and calmly embrace the twists and turns of life is a necessary skill in today's world. 

We live in a time when only surfers survive; when there's a wave, we ride it, and when there's none, we wait patiently.

We don't know where life will lead us or what unexpected events will change the game's rules, but we must be prepared to accept and surrender to the new, no matter how unknown it may seem. 

A child will continually motivate you to engage in various activities:

During times of emotional crisis, they will pull you out of any stupor.

“When a child enters your life, it is time to learn, not to teach.” - Sadhguru

If you find motivating yourself to embrace the beauty around you challenging, remember that teaching your child to do so will naturally force you to start doing it as well.

I began to train myself to see the beauty around me when my heart was burdened with life's dramas. Every time my daughter and I walked to kindergarten, we stopped by each rose bush and marvelled at the dew on the delicate petals. My daughter smelled the flowers, kissed them, and even wished each bud "Good morning!"

Gradually, I started noticing the charm of these roses too. I started to stop and look at leaves, flowers, and even the whiskers of the neighbour's foxy cat with my child. 

Together, we observed the world and exchanged sweet comments. This exercise of appreciating nature began to fill me with beauty. Initially, I forced myself to do it, and I felt apathetic, but over time, I started seeing the world through my child's eyes. 

I would freeze in awe at incredible sunsets and clouds shaped like characters.

Engaging in simple activities, like catching butterflies with a bright yellow net (not to capture them but to admire their beauty), will give you more resources than a session with a psychologist. The same goes for a picnic by the lake or flying a kite.

If you are a mother or father raising children alone or have a complete family, but the routine and inner emptiness consume you, your children will motivate you — trust them.

Everyone knows that classical music develops neural connections. Even if you don't particularly enjoy it, consider listening to Haydn, Mozart, and Glinka music together with your child. Let the inner intention be, "I do it for the child and their development." Over time, classical music's influence will positively impact you too, and its effects are scientifically proven.

Take your child to a museum, talk about Leonardo Da Vinci and Van Gogh, and read fairy tales together at night. You will see yourself transforming into a different person.

Show your child the stars in the sky and learn about constellations anew.

Have you ever noticed how children choose their friends? They listen to their inner voice.

Once, during a holiday abroad, I observed how my 4-year-old daughter found friends among dozens of children. 

She would instantly connect with certain children, playing, talking, and dancing together.

I noticed their common similarity—similar spirits, temperaments, smiles, and energy. Surprisingly, their parents turned out to have a lot in common with me as well.

Children immediately sense their own kindred spirits. 

They don't choose friends based on logical parameters such as age, hobbies or the social status of their parents. 

Instead, they recognize kindred souls even before communicating, playing with dolls, and discussing cartoons. 

They live in the moment, here and now, not projecting the future or wondering if this friendship will last. They truly become friends after just a few days of acquaintance.

As adults, we often look to the future, overanalyze, and rarely cherish the joy of present communication.

Sometimes, one brief dialogue or an hour spent with a person can be more impactful and important than a long-term relationship.

Children don't seek benefits from friendships or keep a score of who invested more in the relationship. They live in a life flow, finding joy in the simplest things.

My little girl loves to dance and encourages me to dance with her. We dance everywhere - at home, on the street, and even at discos. Often, I have to tear myself away from the news and YouTube podcasts to have a home disco with her.

And, of course, I never regret it. 

Engaging in these activities alters the alchemy of hormones in the blood, bringing about happiness.

 So, your child may be completely different—a serious engineer or a philosopher—but whatever activities they suggest to you are likely what you need.

In many ways, your child is your mirror.

Children genuinely know what you need as they read your emotions. 

Trust your little coach, whether it's collecting toy robots or learning new skills together. These activities can hold significant value in the future, just like in the film "Slumdog Millionaire.

Drawing may relieve stress and inspire you to shift from office work to a more creative path. Your dear teacher (your child) will value your engagement in their interests and respond positively with gratitude.

Children are the best teachers of unconditional love. 

Once, I was heading back with my little daughter from her best friend's birthday party. It was getting late, and I suddenly remembered that I needed to buy water for cooking. Carrying a six-litre load in high heels was quite challenging.

My little girl said, "Mom, show me your hands." I placed the bottle on the ground, showing her my tired palms. Without words, she kissed them, her eyes conveying more than words ever could.

At that moment, an overwhelming sense of connection filled the air. It was love—an unconditional love where you don't expect anything in return but receive the entire universe.

To love without reasons, conventions, or expecting anything in return—from a blade of grass to a person—is to embrace the essence of life. Children see beyond appearances; they perceive life in its pure form. If you learn to see a piece of nature in everyone, you will truly love it.

This bright living energy within each person will flourish, dispelling the socially constructed and unreal.

Once, while working with a psychologist on self-love, she asked me, "What do you say to yourself when something, for example, goes wrong at work? When you make mistakes?"

"Of course, I punish myself!" I replied honestly.

"And what would you say to your daughter if she made mistakes?" The psychologist led me to an insight.

"Of course, I would support her, explain that mistakes are part of learning and that everyone makes them. I would even buy her ice cream!" I responded.

"Well, there you have it. You are treating your inner child, who already feels bad, very poorly. Try to treat yourself as you would your beloved daughter."

I tried it, and I recommend it to you. Engage in an internal dialogue as if you were speaking to a beloved child. Be understanding, embrace yourself, and find joy.

Almost all of us have a wounded child inside — someone hurt by parents, bullied by classmates, or criticized by a thoughtless teacher.

We rarely show compassion to these children; instead, we criticize them for their mistakes and hold them responsible for our troubles. We even allow others to mistreat them.

Make it your goal to fall in love with the child within you. Protect, embrace, nurture, and praise them.

Your inner child observes how you treat yourself — whether wounded or healed. Are you nervous and quick to snap at others, or do you find harmony? Healing your inner child will bring happiness not just to you, but to everyone you love.

Just like unhappy teenagers, unhappy adults behave similarly to their surroundings.

You deserve the best love, starting with self-love — regardless of the social roles you fulfil, your income and career, or whether you have a perfect body. 

You are a unique creation; there will never be someone like you. Every day of your life is a miracle. This is true self-love—love without conditions.

If you are psychologically healthy, you love your children for who they are. So, confess to yourself in the mirror, "I love you for who you are. I am ME."

Unbelievable changes will follow.

 When you truly love someone, you won't poison them with junk food and alcohol or harsh criticism and poor choices.